SmJe
1. Act like a dick
2. Pretend you were just playing along and you actually appreciate people and the rules
3. Act more of a dick, but this time don't give a reason.
4. Kiss ass, and then when questioned what the reason for this behaviour was, say it was in everyone's best interests.
5. Piss people off, then some more, dissagree with things you know are right and then when people try to defend themselves, try to piss them off more.
6. Appologise for this behaviour, and hey this time it worked, im forgiven!
7. Keep those in the know close and some even closer.
8. To make up for all that dicking around try your hand at making amends, do things here and there which may seem helpful.
9. Making sure you can't be accused of anything, try to vie for power, a little at a time.
10. Finally, those who worked hard at what they do, try to piss them off in any way you can. You know what, why not make them seem a little less important while you are at it.
Realizing that you can't change everyone or change some situations can be frustrating to say the least. Frustration has got the better of me recently, not taking into account repercussions (if any) and taking the time to step back and see the bigger picture. I have always gone by the philosophy that you should treat someone how you would want to be treated yourself. Until recently I could almost certainly say I have stuck by this as a rule.
However I feel that I may be losing some of that control. Not intentionally, but in reaction to what others do or what ever situation I am in. Maintaining this principle is not hard, and I suppose it frustrates me when some do not have the same mentality. Trying to change them for the better can be a tiresome and demanding task which means you either try and try until you eventually either suceed or die trying. I am not going to name names, nor situations, and I am especially not going to say whether it relates to any on or offline guise. The people who know what I am talking about will know that I have not intentionally tried to make things seem difficult, nor trying to jeapordise any relationships. I also have certainly not intended any harm, only to point out my views, even if they 'do' seem ridiculous or tiresome.
Continuing on with my little speach, I feel like tensions are high no matter where you go, people have always got a grudge to bear, something to nit pick with or just a chip on their shoulder. Whatever your problems are don't make the same mistake I have made which is to vent anger in droves, make it seem to people that you don't care about others feelings. That's the worst thing you can do.
So what to do with all this pent up anger? Lash out? Keep it bottled up? or just plain ignore it? Well a combination of the three, if anyone has anything to say to me or vice versa I will say it, and I will try to say it more, not in a malicious way but just to get a point accross. Because lets remember there are two sides to every story, and people shouldn't make up their minds, no matter how convincing the first half may be. Hear everyone out and let YOURSELF be the judge. Don't be swayed by arguements, or pass judgement onto others, especially if you wouldn't want it to be made towards you. Again these comments are not only aimed at what people would call real life, but on any other guise, on or offline.
I am relating these thoughts and feelings towards the present 'climate'. All this may seem self rightcious or even big headed, hey I don't care, not to sound big headed myself but at the end of the day people act, and react differently to everyone else. Put the past in the past and look towards the future, no one knows whats going to happen good or bad. Take it day by day, and take it all with a pinch of salt...
Firstly I left UEA again... caused some tension and as a result I am not talking to some people and 2 years of good relationships goes down the drain.
Then my internet goes screwy causing me to
**DISCONNECTED FROM SERVER**.......
**RETRYING**....
**RETRYING**....
**RETRYING**....
**TIMED OUT**....
**RETRYING**....
**RETRYING**....
**CONNECTED TO SERVER**
Where was I? oh yes, my internet. Every two seconds disconnecting reconnecting, over and over causing that little vein on my forehead to start to pulsate and annoy. Its still not sorted properly now, I still can manage to get 2/3's of the way through a conversation without realizing that I have gone..
But thats by the by, it will get sorted, one way or another.
Then next *annoyance* is my keyboard decided to pack up (mostly my fault). I 'accidentally' spilt water on it causing half the keyboard to malfunction. Keys going on and off, on and off until eventually not only it had given up but so had I.
What's the last thing I hear you say??
Well it's time, I am working more now due to Christmas and as a result I have less time online, on the game or just to relax. So I suppose I should just give up?
So I will appear to be going on and off sooner than usual. Hey don't expect to see me during the Christmas week, I don't even expect to see my family...
So with trials and none existent tribulations, I will say this,
Why bother....?
I am meh at the moment ((meh is ok) not in the best of moods). I have been cut down in hours at work, started to do more mapping, customization and Studio stuff and also I have started to help out with editors again. (Thankyou Alpha <3)
I have been a bit more strict on the servers recently, still within the rules, but with persisant troublemakers etc I am starting to be more stern. Many may have noticed I have been acting strange or silly recently on servers and on ventrillo etc. don't worry I am not going crazy, just the usual silly me!
Also I have been asked recently about how to map, what is mapping?
Well the easiest way to explain is to give you a link to the forums...
As always im more than happy to help with any questions and help and give advice.
http://www.spawnpoint.com/forums/game_mapping_customization_skinning/20431-customization_tutorials_index.html
Thats all I can muster up for now, not in the best of mood...
SmJeilicious signing out :)
it may have been a few weeks. Well around 2 or so, and for some reason my previous blog did not get displayed on the forums etc. But ah well.
I just wanted to say thank you to spawnpoint for the past few months. From Alpha to Raven and everyone in between, all the help advice and support they have given. I also want to thank the server support staff for the excelant work that they are doing with the new ************ahemm....
Also I wanted to say thanks for the opportunities with Administrating the UK servers. As I said in the applications, I may not be on every server 24/7 and I may not be as active on there as I am on LondonGG etc but I will hopefully help support the servers in running and keeping them trouble free when no one is around or anyone needs help.
I could go on but it would either sound to much like **s licking or like I am high. So I will leave that for now.
As for my activities with Mapping (Yes I am talking about that again). I have done zip! Nothing! Nada!
Thats right, I have done nothing, purely down to work and other commitments and also down to lazyness, as I have to be in the right mood to do so. But I can tell you what I have planned.
Well I have in the making a new Zombie mod map for Sp, a new Gungame map for sp and possibly another Gungame map but I will share the details when I get some good screenies and specifications. Also I want to say that I am currently making tutorials for all you budding mappers out there to help with everything from opening Source SDK to making your first map, and into a bit more advanced stuff.
A link can be found on my forums within the next week or so, so stay tuned for that.
I have also updated the London Gungame mirror to include some maps that have changed, and they can be found at
http://www.smje.co.uk/?page_id=24
I will leave this blog for now and hopefully will have more to report on the next blog, whenever that may be.
Bye for now!
